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After posting my liberal case on the earlier Jerry Falwell entry, I’ve finally gotten around to thinking about conservativism. I can’t represent (or even understand) all the reasons why people are conservatives, but I’ve tried to think of conservative beliefs that I myself believe in and think are valid. It’s hard to write these without a lot of conditionals (“Of course, liberals believe this too . . .” or “Of course, many conservatives betray this . . .”), but I’ll try to keep them to a minimum.

1. Family values. No, I’m not talking about gay marriage or abortion. (I’ve never understood how gays getting married can harm heterosexual marriage. Wouldn’t the “breakdown” of the traditional family come from things like anger, abuse, heterosexual affairs, etc.? You don’t get divorced just because your gay neighbors get married.) Rather, I’m talking old-fashioned ideas like “wholesomeness.” “Clean.” Yes, even “smut.” I’m talking about the increasing normalization of sexual imagery, bad language, and bad behavior in society.

Example: Remember back in the 1980s when Tipper Gore (a Democrat!) tried to get labels put on CD that indicated adult content? A perfectly sensible idea that was already in place with movies. But liberals had to cry wolf and raise a stink about free speech. It was ridiculous, and the pompous air of the rock stars who grinned liked maniacs as they strode into Congress---like teenagers crashing the “adult table” at a dinner party---didn’t help. Message: We don’t care about protecting children, but we do care about being seen as great rebels with a cause, the self-righteous protectors of the right to express . . . filth.

Example: While this is a wholly unscientific statement based only on my own conjecture, don’t you think it was liberals who experimented with cussing in front of their children and letting their children cuss? I have a friend who did this with her first two children, and she told me (many years later) that it’s the thing she most regrets about how she raised them. Now when her two oldest girls fight, it’s full of obscenities and just seems more brutal than it should be. This friend had two other children later in life and didn’t repeat this allowance.

Example: The normalization of bad language and behavior---and its defense by liberals---has led to the current situation where the airwaves are filled with content that is inappropriate for anyone, much less children. “Nappy-headed ho’s” is just the tip of the iceberg.

There’s this idea among conservatives that America is experiencing the “death of childhood,” and I really believe that. Yes, many parents both conservative and liberal are protecting their children. But as a political group, are liberals making that easier or harder? (And here comes caveat number one: Of course, liberals are the ones trying to get, for example, universal health care, which probably protects children in more important ways. But this is my defense of conservative ideas that are right, not an indictment of those that aren’t.)

2. Fiscal responsibility. Well, once upon a time conservatives defended this, didn’t they? The Democrats are now the party of fiscal conservatism, but they did their own damage in the 60s and 70s, and there were conservatives who urged restraint. Once upon a time.

3. National security. I truly believe that Democrats would do a better job with national security than the Republicans, who over the last eight years have squandered our resources as well as our “soft power” (cultural leadership, rule of law, respect in the world). But Democrats are terrible at making that case, partly because they get up in arms at relatively innocuous compromises on civil rights. I do understand that the erosion of civil rights is a very serious matter, and that if it were a relative or friend of mine who was being held indefinitely without trial, I would be beside myself. And I do believe that, in order to listen in to the phone calls of U.S. citizens, the executive branch should go through the due process of court approval, which is relatively easy to get (it’s not like the president has to go wait in line at the DMV to get an approval stamp, for god’s sake). Due process is an important line between rule of law and rule of whim.

But Democrats give inordinate weight (and outrage) to compromises like listening to phone calls and tracking library records. The truth remains that we ARE targets, and there are lots and lots of bad people who would love nothing more than to take the people you love and blow them to smithereens. It’s so easy to forget what we’re up against when time has gone by without another attack. But they are trying, my friends. They are trying hard.

This reminds me of something that Bill Maher said a few years ago. He said, There’s one reason alone why there hasn’t been another attack on the United States. And that’s because John Ashcroft has personally gone to the house of every Arab man in the U.S. and checked them out. (Or something to that effect. Caveat the nth: No, I don’t believe in harrassing Arabs.) Bill Maher hates John Ashcroft and hates his dismantling of civil rights, but he gives him props for being ferocious in the hunt for the next plot.

Unless he was being sarcastic.

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So those are the conservative beliefs I share. Don’t hate me, my raging liberal friends! We’re still on the same team! Live Blue or Die! And here's a link to John Ashcroft singing to make you happy.

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So, you know how whenever Baltimore is ever mentioned in popular culture, it's as some sort of dead-end or site of unpleasantness? Jay and I were watching "How Do I Look?" last night, a show that takes someone with terrible taste in clothes and gives them a makeover. Most of the time, the person is pretty normal, just misguided. But last night the young woman was dressed super slutty . . . low-cut sequined tops with spaghetti straps with tube tops . . . worn as skirts. She was pretty combative for the show, insisting far longer than most contestants that she liked her style and that was it. Soon we find out, though, that she was a terrible drug addict, and her current style reminds her mother of those days when she was "on the street."

She finally gets her makeover, and I'm listening to her response. Literally: "Dem clothes just didn't look right anymore." I turn to Jay and say, "She sounds like she's from Baltimore!" The mother too was perfectly nice but kinda . . . well, Baltimorish, that's all I can say. We're listening to them talk more "Ah got a hohme nay-ow and a new staaahl." Last words of the program? The mother saying, "I knoooohw win we git back to Baldamor she's gonna keep it up!"

:)
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For the first time today, we saw a hummingbird in our yard. Here is a list of all the frequent (and a few rare) visitors to our yard:

First group: goldfinch, house finch, song sparrow, tufted titmouse, red-winged blackbird, carolina wren, chickadee, female goldfinch.

Second group (bigger birds): male and female cardinals, nuthatch, robin, starling, blue jay, brown-headed cowbird, mourning dove, mockingbird.

Third group: Woodpeckers (downy, hairy, red-bellied, red-headed, pileated), red-shouldered hawk, turkey vulture, great blue heron.

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So I deleted yesterday's post on TV. It was filler, something I threw in because I wasn't up to writing more and wanted to provide something new for the two or three people who might actually be reading this. Instead, here's something about what's on my mind today:

1. My friend Chris is in Colorado with his brother, who is dying. It's scary to think of one's siblings dying---it seems both impossible and completely wrong. Everyone else is going to die, sure . . . but not THEM.

Eek.

2. I got a call from Lindsey last night: "Aunt Lynnie, I pooped in the potty!" How lucky am I?

3. It's going to be a long dry summer . . . movie-wise. Almost every screen in Columbia is playing Spiderman, Pirates, or Shrek. Kill me now.

4. So much of being a friend, a sibling, a parent, a son or daughter, is just being there. The gift of your time is the greatest thing you have to offer anyone.

5. I must find a way to lose weight before going to Italy in the fall. Undesired message: I am an overfed American on a tour bus. Desired message: I am a chic international traveler in Italy to study art and shop for designer clothing.

6. Spring is the BEST.

7. How am I going to survive two weeks without Debbie emailing me while she's in Europe??

8. The BSG season finale was perfect.

9. We might be watching Ryan and Lindsey for a few days, and I had the strong feeling yesterday: "I wish Mom could come down and help me."

10. Feeling very lucky today. Good job, good house, good man, good friends, good family, good health.
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My friend Eve had some bad news this week. A friend's son committed suicide this week. He was only 14, and Eve wrote this poem for his father.


A Father’s Heart
[written for a friend whose teenage son killed himself]

How do we say good-bye
To a lifetime yet to be?
How do we say good-bye when death comes too soon?
How do we give up the hope
of the deep laughter and strength of a man?
Of college graduation and fatherhood?
Or our son as a friend later in life?
How do we stop dreaming the dreams of a lifetime?
In a moment, you slipped through our fingers
The noise has stopped
But the farewell will echo throughout our lives.

What did I fail to do that I should have done?
What did I do that was wrong?

I did not imagine that you'd meet God this way.
I wanted you to climb high finding Him on the mountain one day.
When you see God you'll understand why I dreamed for you
Why my heart is breaking

But I hear a voice whisper in my heart
"He is my son too ---
And my heart is breaking.
I did not call him home, but I welcome him home
– my son"

My son, my son
You died in battle.

A struggle that stole your energy and dreams.
A fight took the all of your strength.
I will remember the courage and the hope you used as weapons
In the skirmishes in your soul

I will remember not your last defeat
But rather the days you won against overwhelming odds

Your acts of kindness and thoughtfulness
Your days of strength and honor
Your laughter as a child
I will remember
How many things on this earth were your joy.

These things I will remember
As long as I can
I will look at this world for both of us
I will pray to God for both of us.
As long as I can
And I will live as well as you would want me to live
As long as I can
Until I see you at home.

Eve Greco
May 21, 2007
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Life has become a nightmare for women in Iraq. Please help:

http://www.equalityiniraq.com/english.htm

Yesterday I spent a lovely day with Eve and her kids, Ryan and Lindsey, in the forest, hiking, climbing logs, and playing in the stream. Here are my adorable adopted niece and nephew:

I've watched various talk-show guests talk about Jerry Falwell's legacy over the last few days, and, as is appropriate for someone who has just died, many have highlighted good things about him. He appears to have been an extremely personable man, and I'm sure he loved his family and his friends.

But the defining moment for me regarding Jerry Falwell came when I saw a videotape of him a few years ago. It aired on one of the news channels, and I'm sure it was from the 1980s, maybe early 1990s. He was standing in the pulpit, preaching, and he said, "Homosexuals will kill you as soon as look at you."

I remember my incredible shock, thinking, "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" But yes, he said that from the pulpit of his church. And you're confronted with the dilemna: He either believes this and is incredibly stupid; or he doesn't believe it and is consciously lying from the pulpit. I have to think it's the latter. Which means that he deliberately:

1. told a lie
2. intended to stir up hostility
3. toward an embattled minority group

Pre-WWII antisemitism anyone? St. Augustine believed that lying for the cause of faith was the greatest sin that a believer could commit. But it seems that many religious leaders today believe that the ends justify the means. Truth is secondary to what they consider to be advantageous.

Robert Schuller was on Larry King a few nights ago, and he commented that Jerry Falwell would be the first to say that he regretted comments like calling NOW the "National Organization of Witches." That's heartening to hear, but I wonder if his core values really changed that much. We all know that, after September 11, he blamed the attacks on gays and feminists---a twisted bit of logic if I ever heard one. As far as I know, it was religious fundamentalists and not gays and feminists who drove the planes into their targets. This is classic scapegoating, and it's abhorrent.

I know that many Christians disliked Jerry Falwell as well, and it's unfortunate that they have been tainted by his words and actions. But when the dominant media images of Christians are of people like him (which is the media's fault) and when Christian leadership defends him (which is the Christian leadership's fault), people get wary.

There is another aspect of this worth mentioning, related more to the conservative-liberal dynamic than a religious dynamic. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like, over the course of the 20th century, liberals have been right about most things. On lots of issues---civil rights, women in the workplace, AIDS---liberals have championed a cause early on; conservatives have attacked them bitterly in response; liberals have eventually prevailed through blood sweat and tears; and conservatives have picked up the banner about a decade later. Think about civil rights, something conservatives bitterly opposed; and yet now conservatives champion the cause and claim civil rights heroes as their own. Think also about AIDS, how very vehemently conservatives opposed any compassionate response or financial investment in a cure during the 1980s; and yet now many Christian groups have taken up the cause of AIDS in Africa (probably because now AIDS has ceased to be associated strictly with gays and is perceived as a worldwide phenomenon).

It's great that conservatives have embraced these causes. But there are two pieces that are missing:

1. Repentance. Where is the sense of repentance for the way conservatives attacked the original champions of these causes? They want to simply coopt these causes as their own and forget their own past.

2. Learning. They opposed civil rights, and liberals were right about that. They opposed AIDS funding, and liberals were right about that. And yet these facts never cause them to question whatever entrenched position they are defending today. They never seem to think "We were wrong about everything else. Maybe we're wrong about this too." It's frustrating for liberals to have to re-fight these fights over and over again, against the same enemies who paint them as villains with the same brush each time.

Last note: Yes, I'm a liberal. But I think it's very important not to be blinded by self-righteousness. Many people in this country are conservatives, and there are reasons why they are. The best thing we can all do is think about why the other half believes as they do. I've thought about this a lot, why conservatives believe what they do; and I'm hoping to write down some thoughts on that in an upcoming entry.

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Friends, we did it. For 7 hours, starting at 8:00 in the morning, Debbie and I watched back-to-back episodes of Battlestar Galactica, getting up only for Italian pastries and refills of coffee. And the time flew. BSG did not disappoint, and we are only sorry that we can't stay home from work two more days to watch the rest of the marathon in real time (but thank you, Tivo). Well-wishers called (thank you, Eve), and I do believe that, with a day-long, intensive session of beagle-snuggling, Rocky made significant inroads into Deb's pet-resistance---like the Cylon defenses after a sustained pummeling by Vipers, the walls are beginning to crumble.
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These photos generally don't do justice to the originals, but you will get an idea. These are some of my favorite modern sculptors:

Anish Kapoor: his egg-like form in the basement of the Hirshhorn is my favorite sculpture

Richard Long: he works in natural materials, mostly stone

Tom Otterness: his bronze sculptures are often in public places and, while adorably cute, include sly social commentary





































Andy Goldsworthy: his sculptures are made 100 percent with materials found in nature (flowers, rocks, leaves); nothing to tie, bind, or artificially construct them or hold them together, and no tools


























Dan Flavin: my all-time favorite sculptor, he worked in light


























Josiah McElheny: this photo can't convey how incredibly cool this piece in MOMA looks

New York City: the incredible, collective sculpture that is the city of New York



























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My friend Susan posted this quote from "The Bridge of San Luis Rey" as a comment on yesterday's post, but I think it's worth repeating here. Susan, thank you for this beautiful passage. [Spoiler Alert: Contains a reference to the ending of the novel. The quote comes from the end of the novel when someone is thinking of the five who died when the bridge collapsed.]

"But soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."
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Mother's Day

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It’s true what they say: that, in aging, what you lose in physical strength you make up for in wisdom, gained partly through simply maturing and partly through life experience. Ever since my mom died last June, I’ve had a new perspective on death. I’ve seen how a person’s spirit still infuses the world of those who loved her; how you feel her continued presence, either through memory or reality; and how the physical world itself becomes the carrier of her presence in your life. I remember reading about ancestor worship in grade school and thinking, “That’s silly. . . . how could anyone worship their ancestors?” But now I see that it’s not really worship but remembrance and love, an acknowledgment of their continued existence in our lives. I feel that whenever my family gets together for special occasions and we light a candle for my mom—the flame so beautifully captures the light she was in our lives, the love we will always feel for her, our sense of her still in our lives, and the hope that our spirits endure.

I first felt that infusion of her spirit, that connection with her embodied in the world still, when Jay and I went to the Grand Canyon last fall. The Grand Canyon was so beautiful and powerful, and it was everything she loved: the peace and majesty of nature, the joys of this world that are free and simple but also the best. I thought of her constantly when I was there, remembering the various trips my family took to national parks in the last ten years or so and how my mom breathed in the beauty like air. My sense of my mom was so strong there that, when we drove out of the park at the end of our visit, I actually started crying because I felt like I was saying goodbye to her all over again.

So for Mother’s Day this year, here are some things that my mom loved and that are sort of carriers of her spirit and light for me:

Buckeyes

Dogs: Winston

Redwoods

Rivers: Jared at Yosemite

Rivers: with friends

Mischief: with friends

Cumberland: where her ancestors lived since the 1700s and she lived till she was 10

Her children

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