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One of Rocky's many female admirers sent him a surprise package today: a chew toy of Dick Cheney! He loves it, as you can see below. Of the last photo below, Rocky says: "Through this photo, I hope to express the rage of the canine voting population toward the present administration." Well said, Rocky (and thanks, Rose!!).

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You know how, in your email in-box, the subject lines all line up? Right now, my list of messages, by subject line, reads:

*whimper*
*whimper*
*whimper*
*whimper*
*oh!*

Don't ask.
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I've been disappointed in the last few weeks by mars on two pieces of entertainment I otherwise really enjoyed. The new Harry Potter book and the new Die Hard movie have so much going for them: great action, great storytelling, life lessons, and big hearts. But I had a moment of disappointment, like a small bit of nausea, when out of nowhere one of the good guys in each story comes out with it: the B-word.

I know this female epithet is all over pop culture, but it's disappointing to see it in two works that otherwise have tried to hard to promote good values, to be wholesome in the best sense of the word. And it confirms what's always seemed glaringly obvious: that women are still the only "oppressed group" whom it is perfectly acceptable to belittle in liberal culture. Because really it's no different from the N-word: it's a hostile, nasty insult that is directed at that portion of an individual's identity that's perceived to be vulnerable, that's been a source of historic oppression, and whose use carries with it a little stinging reminder of that oppression. It is, after all, directed particularly at women who are exerting power, who are challenging, who have been uppity.

Women have embraced this term too, in either an act of defiance and attempt at reclamation (much like the N-word in the black community today), an unconscious absorption into the dominant culture (think of the black families who used to laugh along to "Amos and Andy" back in their day), or maybe an uneasy capitulation---because acting like it's no big deal seems safer than calling it out and being mocked and targeted in return. But that just allows the continued charade that it's harmless, no big deal, not hostile, not insulting.

It was a great moment earlier this year when Don Imus was fired for calling the members of that women's basketball team "nappy-headed ho's." In a culture in which we're increasingly told to believe that meanness is the essence of wit, that the ability to insult is the hallmark of a hip consciousness, it was important to have that moment of opposition and resistance. But do any of us believe that without the "nappy-headed" portion of that insult---the racial aspect---Don Imus wouldn't be sitting behind his mike today? Do any of us believe that, had Michael Richards called a female audience member the B-word instead of a black audience member the N-word, it would have made national news? Please; it happens every day, and it's only the most naive, the most ridiculous, the most humorless among us who would dare to object.

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head," feminist Sally Kempton noted. And women are the ones with the most outposts by far. Other groups have experienced that mental colonization too, but it seems it's only women who, as a whole, as a people, haven't faced up to the full reality of it. Racial minorities, sexual minorities, they KNOW . . . they know the fight and they resist.

Most women are, on the other hand, are still collaborators. That's probably because of the unique geometry of women's oppression. Each type of group oppression has its specs---the relational architecture that make for its own particular hardships and relief. For racial and ethnic minorities, that may be that (at least in the past) their entire community was under siege and thus had little outside help or resources; and yet their family group and neighborhood groups, the ones with which they shared the greatest intimacy, was united. For gays, the gay individual might be the only member of his or her family who was experiencing the oppressed identity and thus had a special loneliness; and yet, for those with good families, this meant that they had built-in army from the "other camp" who loved them and would fight for them.

For women the difficulty, I think, is that the "oppressing group" is also the group upon whom their intimate happiness relies. Their hope of romantic love, of family life, of those things that mean the most in life, are intimately entwined with their very oppressors. And the threat of denial is powerful. Even college in the 1980s, when I mentioned that I would never change my name after marriage, a guy in my group of friends looked me right in the eyes and said, with a quietness that was threatening rather than caring, "You'll never get a husband if you have that attitude."

I'm calling men "oppressors" and I realize how dramatic that seems. Of course times are changing, and most men I know are quite lovely and quite egalitarian. The problem is not that men are bad or any worse than women. The problem is that in past times---and in many places still---everyday men, of every social strata, have a great stake in women's oppression. It means that they can keep high-paying jobs while women have low-paying ones. It means that, though both may work, it's the woman who will come home and make the meal at the end of the day. It means that a man's day of labor may last from 8 to 5, but a woman's may never end. Read a book like "The Bookseller of Kabul" or see a movie like "The Magdalene Sisters" or "North Country." Things have been, and are, much worse than we imagine.

There's so much more I could write, but that will have to wait for another day. But for now, do your part; make a gesture; make your small difference: Get mad when somebody uses the B-word.
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Some pics of Sally in London, our backyard, and family in Southern Maryland.

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Spoilers Ahead!

My Maryland readers may be interested to know that the current Die Hard movie takes place largely in Baltimore and environs, including the Social Security Administration where Jay works. It was a great movie. But here's how I would have written it:*

* The terrorists have targeted the Social Security building in Woodlawn, MD, for a major operation. Weeks of careful plotting have gone into the plans to penetrate the facility by stealth, and the terrorists now have an M.O.: they will wait till 5:01 pm on a Friday afternoon, after which time the facility will be completely vacated.

* It's 5:02. They're in. Pan the terrorists in black sneaking down a hallway to the mainframe computer.

* Cut to new shot: High up in the building in a small corner cubicle is a lone technical writer-slash-team leader who looks a little like the guy on CSI and a little like Andrea Bocelli. He is working late . . . using the SSA mainframe to calculate his earliest possible retirement date.

* Back to the mainframe. The terrorists are trying to break into the system and employ the mainframe to create economic havoc in the United States by disrupting the most vital, stable supplemental income known to man. But . . . they . . . can't . . . get . . . in . . . Nerdy evil IT guy looks up slowly at team of Germanic collaborators and says, "Something's going on here."

* Back to cubicle: Our hero the technical writer notices someone trying to cut into his retirement calculation program. He will not stand for it! Furiously, he types away, fending off the rogue program. Heroically he duels with the terrorist typist and seems to be winning until . . .

* Terrorists, at wit's end, have decided to try another approach. Their sick and perverted leader puts a Starbucks sippy cup with a "Merit Award---One Day Off" coupon taped to it inside the supply closet door. Lured by the smell of coffee, the Technical Writer slowly gets up, carefully approaches the sippy cup with his pica ruler in hand; spotting the day-off coupon but seeing no one, he reaches . . . and the door slams! He's trapped. Rapidly, he riffles through the supplies for the one item he knows can save him: the federal form for comp time accrual. He's stuck in the closet for the night, and he WILL get paid for it.

* The next week it's started to sink in. Seniors all over the United States have failed to get their Social Security payments. But there's just one thing that these young, hip, Danish-design-loving team of evildoers hasn't counted on: NO ONE stands between American seniors and their Social Security payments. They fought in World War II, and they KNOW how to handle firearms; they are the Greatest Generation. This already-cranky population explodes. Digging out old hand-grenades from their attics and golf clubs from their garages, they attack. The Germanic terrorists are stunned, wondering where they get their vigor and why they keep calling them "Gerry." America's seniors laugh when they ask for a cease-fire around happy hour to get some appletinis. "When we were your age, we made martinis out of PIG manure!" they claim.

* Cut to Florida retirement development. It's all over, and a group of seniors raises their whiskey glasses for a toast: "Hasta Del Boca Vista, Baby!"

*Disclaimer: Some plots points may have been stolen from one's brother.
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---Comment by a coworker, mocking the idea that we should include Hitler in our bracket-game of dueling moustaches.

So it's been a busy, busy couple of weeks. There was a trip to Southern Maryland with the family, two parties for Jay's birthday, late-night poker out on the deck, the installation of our fence, more swims in the river and games of "Washing Machine" (in which Aunt Lynnie swoshes Ryan and Lindsey back and forth in the water, until her muscles give out and she falls face down in the river to the amusement of all), movie-going, crabcake-eating, and general visiting with relatives. Sally left to go back to Texas this week, but we had a wonderful visit. Also got to see the nephews, Jared and Keith.

Last night I finished one of the most interesting books I've ever read: The Closing of the Western Mind, by Charles Freeman. It's a history of the years between the classical world of Greece and Rome and the emergence of medieval Europe. FAScinating. I've been immersed in reading ancient history for so long that I've lost all perspective . . . I have no idea whether an average reader (by which I mean the intelligent, curious readers of my general acquaintance) would find this book too heavy-going. But I suspect it would be of great interest for those with any tolerance for long history books.

Am hoping to pick up a copy of the new Harry Potter book at midnight tonight and thus avoid spoilers. Will read this weekend, process the mountains of laundry that have accumulated, get hair cut, try to locate Italian CDs, and update blog with photos. Hope all those who are reading out there have a great weekend as well.
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Per USA Today:
"[Iraqi Prime Minister] al-Maliki told reporters Saturday, 'We say in full confidence that we are able, God willing, to take the responsibility completely in running the security file if the international forces withdraw at any time they want.'"
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I found these two interesting quotes in a book I'm reading, The Closing of the Western Mind, about the transition from the classical rational mindset to the doctrine-based mindset at the end of the 4th century AD. From about 380 to 400 AD, the last remnants of classical Greek and Roman religion (the Altar of Victory in the Roman Senate House, the Olympic Games, etc.) were shut down by the authorities. The Christian ascetic Jerome writes:

"The gilded Capitol falls into disrepair; dust and cobwebs cover all Rome's temples. The city shakes on its foundations, and a stream of people hurries, past half-fallen shrines, to the tombs of the martyrs."

One of the last oracles received at Delphi was this:

"Go tell the king
Apollo's lovely hall
Is fallen to the ground. No longer has the god
His house, his bay-leaf oracle, his singing stream.
The waters that spoke are stilled."
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The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello . . . great animated film, neck and neck with The Triplets of Belleville, 101 Dalmatians, and Ratatouille.

Here's the trailer:

http://www.jaspermorello.com/gazette/?page_id=25&currentSelection=7

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From Oscar Wilde: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

From Jared Gaver: "Never do two illegal things at the same time."
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A few things you need to know first:

1. My sister Sally is fresh back from London, with some souvenirs.

2. We had a gift certificate for a photo shoot at the mall that was about to expire.

3. We are, in fact, three very silly sisters.

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Photorealist painter Judith Eisler often uses images of cars and light in her work. And the visual perspectives in her paintings tend to be very unusual, as if you're looking down or across at the scene at an odd angle or from close up.

Ratatouille

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SUPER cute and funny new Pixar flick. Probably my favorite animated movie after 101 Dalmatians. Jay and I saw it Saturday, and I was so smitten that I went again on Sunday with Eve, Ryan, and Lindsey. Unfortunately, Ryan and Lindsey were extremely well behaved and I did not get quite as many loud funny comments as I was expecting. Fie on your abnormally effective parenting skills, Eve, fie!
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