Eclipse Review
About six months ago, I saw the first still from Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight Saga, this one being directed by Hard Candy director David Slade. It was then that I felt my first twinge of worry about the movie. The photo was of Bella and Edward sitting in a meadow of purple flowers. Edward was in light blue, and Bella wore a purple plaid shirt. The hair looked good. Edward looked good. Bella looked right. But there were an awful lot of purple flowers. And didn’t we have a big meadow scene already, back in the first movie?
Between then and this morning, when I went with my friend Kim to see the 9:45 am showing of Eclipse, I saw David Slade’s earlier film, Hard Candy. Brilliant. Loved it. Edgy, smart, gave me shivers. Slade talked about how he wanted to make Eclipse more of an action movie, bring the guys in, revitalize the Cullens, and make Edward scary again. I started to get excited. And as the premiere drew near, critics seemed to be giving it good reviews, often with the phrase “the best Twilight film yet.”
So it was with moderate hope that I went to the multiplex this morning. The previews ended, and I hardly realized that Eclipse had started. It took me a minute to realize that this scene of a young man walking through a rainy alley was actually the beginning of the movie because it was so . . . banal. Each of the earlier movies started with a bang: Twilight with a lone deer in a forest, hearing a sound, taking off, and then being chased by beings you can’t quite catch in your vision, and a low pounding music underscoring the chase; New Moon with a vision of Bella rushing through a crowd in dramatic red capes in slow motion. Both of these beginnings were thematic: a little intro to the conflicts ahead, not simply a start to the movie. The beginning of Eclipse was just straightforward, beginning at the beginning, no atmosphere, no foreboding.
Most of you know the story: The vampire Victoria is building an army of new vampires in order to attack the Cullens and kill Bella. The werewolves join the Cullens’ fight, Bella starts to learn the backstories of various characters, and Jacob continues his all-out campaign to win Bella for himself. With the illuminating backstories, psychological interest, and dramatic fight scenes at the end, Eclipse could have been brilliant.
But oh how it wasn’t. This was by far my least favorite movie, and here’s why:
1. Where’s the Edge, Slade? I was expecting David Slade to bring back the kind of edge that Catherine Hardwicke brought to the first movie. But this one was by far the most cliched. When they kissed, the strings started. When Jacob got angry, the electric guitars pounded. And, yes, there were a LOT of purple flowers in that meadow. Where the movie ended. With a kiss. Remember how the first movie looked to be ending with a kiss between Edward and Bella in the romantic pavilion, and then Hardwicke pulled the camera back, back, back to reveal the scheming Victoria with an evil smile on her face and Radiohead’s music? This one stops at the kiss.
2. Will Someone Please Hire Me as a Stylist? Because I swear to the heavens above I could do a better job styling the Cullens than these people did. Skin, too pale. Eyes, too yellow. Clothing, ranging from forgettable to geeky. Only Rosalie fulfilled the book’s indication that these people all looked like supermodels.
3. Foghorn Leghorn Syndrome. Remember Foghorn Leghorn, the Looney Tunes character who would repeat “I say I say I say . . .” We have been listening to the same protestations from Bella, vows of protection from Edward, and bickering from Jacob for two entire movies now. And the kind of quiet delivery that was innovative from Rob Pattinson early on has become universal. Jacob talks like that, Bella talks like that, and Edward talks like that, all the time. There’s no joy, no smiling, no banter. Just looks of pain and struggle, unceasingly ponderous. I could accept this in New Moon because it’s is a very sad book. But Eclipse needed a new tone, energy, verve. Something different.
4. Bryce Dallas Howard Sucked.
5. Slade, You Coward. The movie ends with Bella declaring that she’s not becoming a vampire just for Edward, just for love. No, she’s always felt like she didn’t fit in; she feels she belongs in the vampire world itself, not just with Edward. Really? Because that’s not what the book says. The book says that life would have been happy and easy with Jacob. The book says that love is powerful and is the best justification for any course of action. But they just had to slip in a little Girl Power PSA, didn’t they, to placate the critics.
6. It Has All the Magic of a Palmolive Commercial. This is hard to define, but the movie is just . . . plain. The first movie had the van scene, the bedroom scene, the fight scene with James, “you better hold on tight, spider monkey.” The second movie had the encounter with Laurent, the chase through the forest, Edward stepping out into the sun in Italy. These scenes were memorable. Eclipse had next to nothing. Even the pivotal scenes up in the mountains with Jacob in the tent, and with Edward’s final battle with Victoria . . . they were drained of emotional impact and visual interest. And the CGI in the mountain scene was the worst I’ve seen. The second that it showed I thought “green screen.” Not because I knew it had to be but because it looked like it. It was like those fake, out-of-focus forest backdrops that photographers use with middle school pictures.
7. No Magic, No Heart. Eclipse the book gets at the heart of Bella’s decision: everything that she will give up and everything that she will gain by becoming a vampire to be with Edward. Slade doesn’t have time for the backstories, the fight scenes, and he sure doesn’t have time for this emotional journey.
I will say this: Maybe I’m just tired of these characters and this storyline. But I don’t think so. There’s so much richness in Eclipse’s story, and I was looking forward to seeing them realized. The missing element was a director with the right vision. David Slade seemed like an innovative choice when he was hired, but he turned out to be a square peg trying haplessly to manage a round hole.
-
Between then and this morning, when I went with my friend Kim to see the 9:45 am showing of Eclipse, I saw David Slade’s earlier film, Hard Candy. Brilliant. Loved it. Edgy, smart, gave me shivers. Slade talked about how he wanted to make Eclipse more of an action movie, bring the guys in, revitalize the Cullens, and make Edward scary again. I started to get excited. And as the premiere drew near, critics seemed to be giving it good reviews, often with the phrase “the best Twilight film yet.”
So it was with moderate hope that I went to the multiplex this morning. The previews ended, and I hardly realized that Eclipse had started. It took me a minute to realize that this scene of a young man walking through a rainy alley was actually the beginning of the movie because it was so . . . banal. Each of the earlier movies started with a bang: Twilight with a lone deer in a forest, hearing a sound, taking off, and then being chased by beings you can’t quite catch in your vision, and a low pounding music underscoring the chase; New Moon with a vision of Bella rushing through a crowd in dramatic red capes in slow motion. Both of these beginnings were thematic: a little intro to the conflicts ahead, not simply a start to the movie. The beginning of Eclipse was just straightforward, beginning at the beginning, no atmosphere, no foreboding.
Most of you know the story: The vampire Victoria is building an army of new vampires in order to attack the Cullens and kill Bella. The werewolves join the Cullens’ fight, Bella starts to learn the backstories of various characters, and Jacob continues his all-out campaign to win Bella for himself. With the illuminating backstories, psychological interest, and dramatic fight scenes at the end, Eclipse could have been brilliant.
But oh how it wasn’t. This was by far my least favorite movie, and here’s why:
1. Where’s the Edge, Slade? I was expecting David Slade to bring back the kind of edge that Catherine Hardwicke brought to the first movie. But this one was by far the most cliched. When they kissed, the strings started. When Jacob got angry, the electric guitars pounded. And, yes, there were a LOT of purple flowers in that meadow. Where the movie ended. With a kiss. Remember how the first movie looked to be ending with a kiss between Edward and Bella in the romantic pavilion, and then Hardwicke pulled the camera back, back, back to reveal the scheming Victoria with an evil smile on her face and Radiohead’s music? This one stops at the kiss.
2. Will Someone Please Hire Me as a Stylist? Because I swear to the heavens above I could do a better job styling the Cullens than these people did. Skin, too pale. Eyes, too yellow. Clothing, ranging from forgettable to geeky. Only Rosalie fulfilled the book’s indication that these people all looked like supermodels.
3. Foghorn Leghorn Syndrome. Remember Foghorn Leghorn, the Looney Tunes character who would repeat “I say I say I say . . .” We have been listening to the same protestations from Bella, vows of protection from Edward, and bickering from Jacob for two entire movies now. And the kind of quiet delivery that was innovative from Rob Pattinson early on has become universal. Jacob talks like that, Bella talks like that, and Edward talks like that, all the time. There’s no joy, no smiling, no banter. Just looks of pain and struggle, unceasingly ponderous. I could accept this in New Moon because it’s is a very sad book. But Eclipse needed a new tone, energy, verve. Something different.
4. Bryce Dallas Howard Sucked.
5. Slade, You Coward. The movie ends with Bella declaring that she’s not becoming a vampire just for Edward, just for love. No, she’s always felt like she didn’t fit in; she feels she belongs in the vampire world itself, not just with Edward. Really? Because that’s not what the book says. The book says that life would have been happy and easy with Jacob. The book says that love is powerful and is the best justification for any course of action. But they just had to slip in a little Girl Power PSA, didn’t they, to placate the critics.
6. It Has All the Magic of a Palmolive Commercial. This is hard to define, but the movie is just . . . plain. The first movie had the van scene, the bedroom scene, the fight scene with James, “you better hold on tight, spider monkey.” The second movie had the encounter with Laurent, the chase through the forest, Edward stepping out into the sun in Italy. These scenes were memorable. Eclipse had next to nothing. Even the pivotal scenes up in the mountains with Jacob in the tent, and with Edward’s final battle with Victoria . . . they were drained of emotional impact and visual interest. And the CGI in the mountain scene was the worst I’ve seen. The second that it showed I thought “green screen.” Not because I knew it had to be but because it looked like it. It was like those fake, out-of-focus forest backdrops that photographers use with middle school pictures.
7. No Magic, No Heart. Eclipse the book gets at the heart of Bella’s decision: everything that she will give up and everything that she will gain by becoming a vampire to be with Edward. Slade doesn’t have time for the backstories, the fight scenes, and he sure doesn’t have time for this emotional journey.
I will say this: Maybe I’m just tired of these characters and this storyline. But I don’t think so. There’s so much richness in Eclipse’s story, and I was looking forward to seeing them realized. The missing element was a director with the right vision. David Slade seemed like an innovative choice when he was hired, but he turned out to be a square peg trying haplessly to manage a round hole.
-
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