Must-Read for Women
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The book is The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin De Becker. I saw the author on Oprah this week, and he was fascinating. He's a security expert for high-profile clients, and he says that people almost always sense when they are in danger. But humans are the only animals who will give themselves over to the danger, usually because we're afraid of being rude. It's the woman who steps into an elevator with a man who she feels an instinctual repulsion for. It's the girl who lets in a customer just as the store is closing because she has no good reason---other than an instinct---to say no. We are taught to be nice, but these instincts should always be heeded.
De Becker stories remind me of a story my mom used to tell us. My mom was a straight arrow and a no-nonsense woman, always. Not listening to her instincts in order to please a strange man would never be in the mix. When she was a college student at the University of Maryland in the late forties/early fifties, she was walking across campus with a friend. A man pulled up in a car and waved them over. My mother said, "I'm not going over there. He can wave all he wants." The other girl didn't want to be rude, and went over to the car, where the driver exposed himself to her. This story always makes me laugh, because my mom was so sensible. There was something in her character that was able to resist the 1950s pressure for women to be accommodating. If she were a young woman today, you know she'd be saying "**** that!" as some jerk waved her over.
Here is a link to the De Becker book on Amazon; I'm sure it's in libraries too.
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The book is The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin De Becker. I saw the author on Oprah this week, and he was fascinating. He's a security expert for high-profile clients, and he says that people almost always sense when they are in danger. But humans are the only animals who will give themselves over to the danger, usually because we're afraid of being rude. It's the woman who steps into an elevator with a man who she feels an instinctual repulsion for. It's the girl who lets in a customer just as the store is closing because she has no good reason---other than an instinct---to say no. We are taught to be nice, but these instincts should always be heeded.
De Becker stories remind me of a story my mom used to tell us. My mom was a straight arrow and a no-nonsense woman, always. Not listening to her instincts in order to please a strange man would never be in the mix. When she was a college student at the University of Maryland in the late forties/early fifties, she was walking across campus with a friend. A man pulled up in a car and waved them over. My mother said, "I'm not going over there. He can wave all he wants." The other girl didn't want to be rude, and went over to the car, where the driver exposed himself to her. This story always makes me laugh, because my mom was so sensible. There was something in her character that was able to resist the 1950s pressure for women to be accommodating. If she were a young woman today, you know she'd be saying "**** that!" as some jerk waved her over.
Here is a link to the De Becker book on Amazon; I'm sure it's in libraries too.
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2:34 PM
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