Sarah Pitbull
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Frankly, I'm sick of Democrats wringing their hands over Sarah Palin. Matt Damon's smart critique of her is dead-on, but here's the thing: It's typical of the way Democrats react to this kind of threat. It's earnest, it's intelligent, but above all it's scared.
A certain percentage of Democrats really do believe that most Americans are stupid. And they fear the power of Stupid Charisma. Sarah Palin is spunky! She's cute! She's all down-to-earth and confident. She's Kentucky Fried Chicken---not at all arugula and pine nuts! She's a right-wing nut-job with no experience, but we know that lots of Americans will parrot back the Republican line that she has "more executive experience than Joe Biden and Barack Obama together," just as they parroted back the Republican line that John Kerry was a "flip-flopper."
Maybe this kind of Stupid Charisma is unbeatable, but we can't really say because the Democrats have never tried. We're always trying to be all rational and taking the high ground. But this DOESN'T WORK. Let's try something different this time. Let's treat Sarah Palin as the obviously stupid choice she is. Let's be confident not only that we are right but that others will recgonize what's right. Let's treat the Republicans the way Ann Coulter would if the shoe were on the other foot.
I'll start.
Regarding Sarah Palin's support of book censorship in schools (I've only heard rumors of this, but remember, we're acting like Republican strategists now). I can only imagine that she's one of that contingent that wanted to ban Harry Potter for promoting sorcery. Here's my tag-line:
"Maybe if her daughter had spent more time reading Harry Potter and less time sleeping with the hockey team, she wouldn't be knocked up at age seventeen."
Okay, you next. Here are some possible topics:
1. The family values/out-of-control ambition of a woman who runs for the vice-presidency when she has a 4-month-old with Down syndrome and a pregnant teenager.
2. The success rate of the Republicans' "abstinence only" birth-control policy.
3. The Republicans' support of pharmacists who refuse to provide birth control TO ANYONE.
4. Palin's belief that dinosaurs roamed the earth 4,000 years ago.
5. How being a "rock star" disqualifies you for office.
6. The historical success rate of governance by prayer and divine revelation (see: Iraq, New Orleans, the continued existence of Osama bin Laden).
Nobody likes a nebbish. You and I and Matt Damon all love "actuarial tables" but nobody votes for an accountant. There's a reason that the GOP has flourished in the age of O'Reilly, and it ain't his incisive analysis. We need a James Carville. We need to be James Carvilles. We need, in fact, to be pitbulls.
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Frankly, I'm sick of Democrats wringing their hands over Sarah Palin. Matt Damon's smart critique of her is dead-on, but here's the thing: It's typical of the way Democrats react to this kind of threat. It's earnest, it's intelligent, but above all it's scared.
A certain percentage of Democrats really do believe that most Americans are stupid. And they fear the power of Stupid Charisma. Sarah Palin is spunky! She's cute! She's all down-to-earth and confident. She's Kentucky Fried Chicken---not at all arugula and pine nuts! She's a right-wing nut-job with no experience, but we know that lots of Americans will parrot back the Republican line that she has "more executive experience than Joe Biden and Barack Obama together," just as they parroted back the Republican line that John Kerry was a "flip-flopper."
Maybe this kind of Stupid Charisma is unbeatable, but we can't really say because the Democrats have never tried. We're always trying to be all rational and taking the high ground. But this DOESN'T WORK. Let's try something different this time. Let's treat Sarah Palin as the obviously stupid choice she is. Let's be confident not only that we are right but that others will recgonize what's right. Let's treat the Republicans the way Ann Coulter would if the shoe were on the other foot.
I'll start.
Regarding Sarah Palin's support of book censorship in schools (I've only heard rumors of this, but remember, we're acting like Republican strategists now). I can only imagine that she's one of that contingent that wanted to ban Harry Potter for promoting sorcery. Here's my tag-line:
"Maybe if her daughter had spent more time reading Harry Potter and less time sleeping with the hockey team, she wouldn't be knocked up at age seventeen."
Okay, you next. Here are some possible topics:
1. The family values/out-of-control ambition of a woman who runs for the vice-presidency when she has a 4-month-old with Down syndrome and a pregnant teenager.
2. The success rate of the Republicans' "abstinence only" birth-control policy.
3. The Republicans' support of pharmacists who refuse to provide birth control TO ANYONE.
4. Palin's belief that dinosaurs roamed the earth 4,000 years ago.
5. How being a "rock star" disqualifies you for office.
6. The historical success rate of governance by prayer and divine revelation (see: Iraq, New Orleans, the continued existence of Osama bin Laden).
Nobody likes a nebbish. You and I and Matt Damon all love "actuarial tables" but nobody votes for an accountant. There's a reason that the GOP has flourished in the age of O'Reilly, and it ain't his incisive analysis. We need a James Carville. We need to be James Carvilles. We need, in fact, to be pitbulls.
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posted by Anonymous at
3:50 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks so much for, first of all, giving an accurate account of the source of my sadness these last two weeks. Secondly, for such a fun outlet for my frustration!
Here's my attempts:
Sarah Palin not only believes that dinosaurs walked the earth 4,000 years ago, she evidently believes one should be elected president in 2008! Ba-dump-dump!
Marriage is ONLY to be between a man and a woman, or in this case, two immature, sexually incontinent cheerleaders! True love and committment is not sufficient grounds for marriage for our gay friends but a poor understanding of contraception? Jesus is smiling on that!
God wants Alaska to have a pipeline. He also wants women to work for less money than their male peers, for our brave American soldiers returning from Iraq to find their own darn health care and for the wealthiest Americans to get tax breaks! Amen!
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