Monsieur Pivot's Questionnaire
-
I have come to the dreary conclusion that I will never be a featured guest on Inside the Actor's Studio.
[Dream sequence:]
James Lipton: Ms. Weber has been nominated three times for the Academy Award for Best Actress, and won the Academy Award for both best director and best adapted screenplay for the acclaimed film Hortense the Happy Pig . . .
[End dream sequence]
Thus I will have to use this space to proclaim my answers to Bernard Pivot's questionnaire that Lipton adapted for the show. If you're reading this, copy-and-paste the questions into the Comments section, and add your own answers! I'd love to read them.
So here we go:
What is your favorite word?
Roo (my husband's pet name for me)
What is your least favorite word?
Any word whose primary purpose is to hurt someone, such as a gender or racial epithet.
What turns you on?
A happy marriage.
What turns you off?
Bickering.
What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of a beagle when someone he loves comes through the door.
What sound or noise do you hate?
An animal in pain.
What is your favorite curse word?
None. Though I do like the expression of frustration from a Miss Marple novel: "That's a nonstarter, Murgatroyd!"
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Sole proprietor of a vast charitable fortune.
What profession would you not like to do?
Prostitute.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
All is forgiven.
-
I have come to the dreary conclusion that I will never be a featured guest on Inside the Actor's Studio.
[Dream sequence:]
James Lipton: Ms. Weber has been nominated three times for the Academy Award for Best Actress, and won the Academy Award for both best director and best adapted screenplay for the acclaimed film Hortense the Happy Pig . . .
[End dream sequence]
Thus I will have to use this space to proclaim my answers to Bernard Pivot's questionnaire that Lipton adapted for the show. If you're reading this, copy-and-paste the questions into the Comments section, and add your own answers! I'd love to read them.
So here we go:
What is your favorite word?
Roo (my husband's pet name for me)
What is your least favorite word?
Any word whose primary purpose is to hurt someone, such as a gender or racial epithet.
What turns you on?
A happy marriage.
What turns you off?
Bickering.
What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of a beagle when someone he loves comes through the door.
What sound or noise do you hate?
An animal in pain.
What is your favorite curse word?
None. Though I do like the expression of frustration from a Miss Marple novel: "That's a nonstarter, Murgatroyd!"
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Sole proprietor of a vast charitable fortune.
What profession would you not like to do?
Prostitute.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
All is forgiven.
-
posted by Anonymous at
1:18 PM
5 Comments:
What is your favorite word?
Normalmente, which is Italian for "normally." For some reason, it just *cracks* me up that this is a cognate. Oh, hoo. Simple pleasures. Simple pleasures.
What is your least favorite word?
Poop. So grossly evocative.
What turns you on?
self-confidence merged with charity
What turns you off?
arrogance/bad breath/bad hygiene
What sound or noise do you love?
singing
What sound or noise do you hate?
arguing
What is your favorite curse word?
jackhole
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
professional dancer (ballet or modern)
What profession would you not like to do?
garbage collector
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"We have karaoke."
Is Hortense the Happy Pig real? Sally
What is your favorite word?
MagNOLia, spoken in the manner of Cab Calloway.
What is your least favorite word?
Cunt.
What turns you on?
the outdoors
What turns you off?
lack of appreciation for one's intimate relationships
What sound or noise do you love?
a Chopin etude
What sound or noise do you hate?
a Baltimore accent
What is your favorite curse word?
cochon!
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
science reporter
fabric artist
junk shop owner
art restorer
a combination of the above, but i'd really rather do nothing at all as a profession
What profession would you not like to do?
butcher
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
your treehouse is ready
What is your favorite word?
hope
What is your least favorite word?
anything ending in -ung
What turns you on?
being wanted but not needed
What turns you off?
immaturity
What sound or noise do you love?
baby giggles
What sound or noise do you hate?
cheesy saxophone in the middle of a good rock song
What is your favorite curse word?
I'm fond of all the classics when used in appropriate contexts.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
screenwriter/director
What profession would you not like to do?
teacher
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Where would you like to go next?"
What is your favorite word?
Bool. (when I was in Spain and Sean and I were "broken up," I dreamed that he said "Bool!" to me, and we laughed hysterically for hours, because it made no sense. I woke up laughing.)
What is your least favorite word?
Moist.
What turns you on?
good dancing
What turns you off?
passive/aggressiveness
What sound or noise do you love?
My almost 2-yo niece saying "Hi, Aunt Bobo!" (Her name for me). And Bruce Springsteen (just went to the show!).
What sound or noise do you hate?
My own voice on the answering machine.
What is your favorite curse word?
"Gall-durned dunkey!" -- I don't use it, but my grandfather had an irrational hatred of Dave Thomas (yes, the Wendy's founder) and would always yell that at his TV commercials.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
owner of adorable but awesome bookstore/clothing store/letterpress/vintage decor shop
What profession would you not like to do?
sunscreen efficacy tester.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Come on in, this is going to be fun.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home